Sex sex and more sex

So I feel like Ive been hyper-sexual lately....

Kelly came over on Sunday and we pretty much spent the last 2 days fucking....

I dont want to get back together with her but it was so nice to have that comfort and that fun of sleeping with someone you know well....plus the dom/top/mistress that Ive been talking to has backed out of our first play session twice now.

Ive also been obsessed with Nina Hartley....I find her sooooo attractive. Shes incredibly smart and she likes dominating women.....shes the perfect bed mate.

Ok so I still cant believe that I posted an add for a dom.....I was so high when I did it that Im surprised my add even made sense. Im not saying that I hadn't thought about being dominated but I probably never would have posted an add if I weren't inebriated. Maybe its a good thing.

Wow its been a while....

So my life has been kind of crazy (whos hasnt tho right?) I guess Im just a little self absorbed like that (plus no one reads this but me anyway lol)

Lets recap....

Kelly has moved out completely. I revamped my apartment on my week vacation to remove any mark of hers that I could.

I am actually OK with being alone.

I have decided to conquer my fear of therapists and try and find one to talk to.

I decided to dabble in BDSM (yea it hasnt work out so far).

I got twittered my Nina Hartley - Yes I am obsessed.

I am still obsessed with the song Gravity (see previous post).

I quit the guild Hells Crusaders (WOW reference).

Beautiful Day

Ok so its actually a really pretty fall day today - granted that could be because Im inside (Ive heard its really cold out there) and all I can see are great big windows.

Ok, its 4:30pm and ITS ALREADY DARK! Seriously?! I dont remember it getting this dark this early....sigh.

Gravity

By: Sara Bareilles
(New Song Obsession!)

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

[CHORUS]
Set me free, leave me be.
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

[CHORUS]

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need
here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down

If wishes were horses...

Ok so Im supposed to meet the next person I date this month. I am also (according to tarot cards) supposed to meet her either thru her work or mine.

This has actually caused me a little bit of stress. If I meet her through my work then thats cool - easy - I hand my business card to every lesbian that comes in (no Im not hitting on them...I just like the potential of more business or friends or w/e)

So for the next girl I date - please dont let me meet you thru your work if you are a:
1) Police Officer
2) OBGYN
3) Disaster Relief Help
4) Statie
5) Hospital Worker/Nurse/Doctor
6) EMT

I was right again

So not to brag...but

when Kelly started hanging out with her sister again I told her that her sister was still into drugs. But noooooooo kelly didnt want to believe me.
I told her it wasnt a good idea
I told her not to move in with her
I told her she was no good for her and that she would use her
I told her that her sister dosent actually give a shit about her - all she wants her for is her money
I told her so
I TOLD HER SO

So I get home last night and Kelly was making dinner. She had asked if she could spend the night at the apartment because "she wanted to spend some time with tofu" - fine whatever. I dont really care. I look on the coffee table and theres a tub of vicks vapo rub on the table. So I ask her why its there. Her immediate responce is my nose hurts. OK Im not an idiot I know her nose hurts. So I ask WHY does it hurt. She immediately lies to me - "I must be coming down with a cold" (*cough*bullshit*cough*). So I tell her I know shes lying. I know how she is when she comes down with a cold and she wasnt acting sick at all. So after repeating myself three times - she comes clean and tells me what I already knew.

How long till my luck runs out?

So I realize in the course of my lifetime Ive been lucky. Ive had two people fall in love with me...to the point that I knew that those two people would never leave me. Those are the same two people that I have left.

First was my ex-boyfriend. I was with him for 5 yrs and panicked when he decided he was going to propose to me.

Second is Kelly. If I hadnt left her she never would have left me. I know this....

So my question is - will this ever happen again? I assume there is a limit to the number of people who will fall in love with you during your lifetime....and I wonder what my max number is.


So Kelly is still living at my apartment but only for now. She told me she will be out by friday. I keep telling her that I would rather have her stay with me till she finds a place of her own....but she has started talking to her low life dead beat sister again so her sister has convinced her to move in with her. I keep telling kelly shes going to get depressed if she stays there - plus her sister will take everything she has and never even think twice about it. Kelly has actually aquired some kind of nice stuff in the year or two she hasnt talked to her sister (granted I bought it all for her - but whatever). I just need to let go....let go....let go....

Today November 3rd in the year of our Lord 2009 Kelly and I are no longer domestic partners. (I have always like the way that sounds...but have never actually gotten a chance to use that phrase - so I will today) She went down to the courthouse in cambridge and unregistered us and then called and had my insurance canceled.