doubts and fears

Sometimes I doubt K is the one for me. There are times I think that I could do so much better than what she gives me. If its not one thing its another with her. Im not 100% sure she is not lying about this whole thing. First it was her foot and now its her head - is she just pill seeking? Shes been on pain pills for as long as Ive known her. A large part of me wants to think that no...once this is done then everything will be fine...but Im not sure anymore.


so I begged for sex the other night. I resolved after that to never ask for sex again.
so ironic that I know I could get laid with P...that I wouldnt even have to ask for it...that she was stroking my knee the other day and making references...but I am at home with K and begging for it.

I vow from this moment on that I will never ask for sex again from K...if she wants it she can ask for it...till then I will just finish on my own.

I already broke one vow the very next night to say no to her when she asks - but my lust was greater than my resolve and I paid for it with lackluster sex.