Ready

I'm ready for Kelly to go home. She has stayed for 3 nights and I feel like Ive gone backwards. I got all pissy with her because she was at my house and then went and played WOW for the night.



I'm getting frustrated with my dom but I'm not sure how to approach it. I know where I stand (she has a kid and she is taking care of her grandmother who is 88) and its at the bottom of the priority list....I'm sort of OK with that because Ive known for a while that shes a busy person. Now comes the frustration part - we've been talking for a little over a month now (my post was put up on cl on feb 8th) and in that time Ive met her once for little little less than an hour. Yup. A month and shes managed to squeeze me into her life for less than a hour. Granted its not for lack of trying (I will give her that). She has made plans with me twice that she has had to cancel either because of family issues or because her babysitter bailed out on her. Its still frustrating. I'm torn between wanting to tell her it has to happen soon and wanting to give her the space and time that I know she needs. I do have to say I have been so much better about dealing with my anticipation and frustration when I don't hear from her for hours at a time....which I think in some weird way shows either maturity or a new ability to guard my heart.

So that brings me to another fear - I'm kind of worried that I might start to fall for her. Ive always been a sucker for 1.) older women 2.) intelligence 3.) confidence and 4.) being in touch with their sexuality. This woman fits the bill on everything.

I got this message from her the other day:
"I want those images to be your last thought at night and your first in the morning. I want them to crowd your dreams and distract your days"
I said something here about what she said being poetic
"I believe that words, when used well, are very powerful. Really, its words that have drawn you in. Words that have held you...."

God damn how can you NOT fall for something like that....







I need to lose weight.